Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
