Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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