She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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