He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
