But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
