You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize