I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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