i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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