he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
