well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
