i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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