well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
