i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
two words...techno handjob
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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