so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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