i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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