In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I want to be your penis for a week.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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