I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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