i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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