This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize