You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
