We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
