you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
