Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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