there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
