can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i would punch a child for taco bell
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
