You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
