i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize