i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
