Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
