You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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