Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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