i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
