omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
