kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
