But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
