a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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