I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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