Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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