Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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