threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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