you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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