You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
