the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You need Xanax blowdarts
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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