Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize