So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
