I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
