seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize