it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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