We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
