I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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