Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
