Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
