Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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