So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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