dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
