..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
