Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
