A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
