Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
