Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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