dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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