Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
